Stop Loss: The Military Eats Itself

May 11
It's hard to find a story that gives me more satisfaction than learning that a bunch of "weekend warriors," America's National Guard Reserve, are being forced to stay in military service even after their contract with the government has expired. The reason is that the military is shortstaffed in this time of war. Something about people not wanting to sign up for a free trip to getting shot at and maybe killed in Iraq, I guess.

"I don't think during a time of war you would want to let people go when you have a shortage of people," Army Reserve spokesman Steve Stromvall said.

Certainly not, Mr. Steve, and I agree. I think stop loss is a wonderful phenomenon. It serves so many purposes.

1) It makes the retained soldiers hate the military. These are the guys who all of a sudden oppose the war after they decided they didn't want to go to war, they just wanted to say they were in the Reserves to get chicks, or maybe just to put a little more oomph behind waving that big flag in their yards. An added bonus is that they maybe do poor work, as people tend to do at jobs they hate.

2) It keeps possible recruits, at least those smart enough to read or who watch the news (slim pickins, I know), from joining up, since they could very well be prevented from un-joining up.

3) It satisfies my revenge lust and punishes the stupid in one fell swoop. I love that the state's enforcers, even the part-time ones, suffer at the hands of the state they so love. And I ADORE the fact that anyone so stupid as to think a contract made with the country's monopoly contract enforcer would in any way secure a single one of their rights or hold any personal benefit whatsoever may learn the error of their ways in this manner. Or if they're really stupid, just suffer without understanding why. Maybe even in a 120-degree Iraqi summer as their businesses back home collapse from neglect. I like that last item, it opens up the market for people who were not dumb enough to join the Reserves to take their places, and therefore makes wealth flow to more peaceful and/or rational people. I smell the efficiency, do you?

The military repels future recruits, makes its members hate it while they're still working for it, and jingoist pigs get what they deserve. That's hot.