ATTENTION: Life indicates it is about to end

by Tehlirian666
Palm Beach - At approximately 12:00 midnight Sunday morning, Life indicated to local residents that it may not be able to continue fulfilling its responsibilities due to sanctions placed on its existence by capitalism and the human species in general.

Life, currently residing in an anarchist living in the Palm Beach area of Florida, told reporters from Nowhere In Particular Saturday night that restrictions such as the state, xenophobia, the monetary system, and an obsession with comfort and "security" have made it extremely difficult for Life to flourish.

"Adding to the catastrophe", Life indicated, "is the fact that no one even seems to want anything to do with me! Every where I go I get shut out - and what's with this whole 'civilization' fad!? The forces of these so called 'civilized' humans have forcibly shut me out of millions upon millions of people!"

Scientists speculate that one of the main reasons Life is in danger of extinction is because of the destruction of its habitat. Recent inventions such as Television, Cellular Telepohnes, Cars, and extremely close-minded perspectives of the world have greatly deteriorated what was once one of Life's greatest habitats; the human brain.

"It is just unhabitable now," exclaims Life, as it sits on the beach, alone, observing the sun set. "They invented a system to try and regulate me, but instead I was just completely destroyed in the vast majority of humanity! People are so busy at their jobs trying to pay for where they sleep in order to be rested for their masters - and those who have noticed something lacking would rather do cocaine, or die altogether!"

Area resident Anna Key didn't seem as concerned. "Life is exaggerating, I for one and completely inhabited by it!" She went on to express her enthusiasm for having witnessed every episode of the Gilmore Girls in a row; "That's not something everyone gets to experience, ya know? And recently my family went on a vacation to see Mount Rushmore, it was pretty exciting." She declined further comment on the matter, as she wanted to return home immediatly to record her appearance on the news.

Life, however, was thoroughly excited for another interview. "That's the real issue here," Life stated,"there's no magic formula to get me, I'm always here, right in front of your eyes, and my roots are still deep enough to reach into each of your minds. People don't even interact with eachother anymore. They're seperated by their houses, their cars, their cubicles, even their flags and other symbols that have no basis in reality!" Life hesistated. "However, reality is objective, so there is still a chance to save me, and to save yourselves. Just change your reality, change your perspective for once! Stop looking at your cell phone clock every 5 minutes and start looking at all of the beauty, as well as the destruction, that surrounds you! Don't go to the movies, make your own adventure! And when you wake up tomorrow morning and roll out of bed and into the bathroom to prepare for another day of wage labor, ask yourself why you obey the invisible chain that drags you to work everyday. And remember; question everything."

The amount of Life on Earth has been steadily decreasing for several centuries, and there is no sign of the decline stopping. If you wish to make a donation, feel free to drop out of school or quit your job. Treat a homeless person to dinner, or perhaps take a walk through the park with a loved one.

For more information about Life, make it up yourself.